Saturday, February 7, 2009

Past Regret.

I would say that one of the major things that I regret in my past, although it wasn't really my fault or doing was the life I was involved in and had to live when I was a child. My mother had always been a very cantankerous woman, but after her and my father got a divorce (about 1st or 2nd grade) it was all downhill from there. She got into drugs really heavily, and turned our once tranquil home into the safe haven for drug addicts. The life I now begun to get involved in and the people I affiliated myself with at the young age of 10 was quickly turning me down the road of failure and self-humiliation. I am ashamed to say that I did commit several crimes, even at a very young age. With no parental supervision I quickly begun to tear myself free from any moral fabric that was instilled upon me beforehand. School became even less of a priority to me. If I even showed up for school I spent most of my time in the pricipal's office anyways. And I even took pleasure and enjoyment into consideration before my own physical and mental well-being. Let's just say I couldn't do very many things right if any at all. That was until my father took my mother's sorry a$& to court and got custody of me and my brother. I straightened out very quickly under the keen eye of my father who wouldn't stand for any disobedience from myself. For that I thank him. I soon begun to see how much of a failure I had become and how much I didn't want to be that person that I was before. I'm not saying I regret the person that it shaped me to become today, I actually am happy with the person I am. I am saying that if I could go back I would change most of everything that I did and get a jump on it early. And that's what I regret that I could not do.

4 comments:

laceyf. said...

unfortunatly we are givin our parents and cant change them. its to bad we cant blame them for our faults either.... the famous saying is two wrongs dont make a right so just because your mom wasnt paying attention doesnt mean you shouldnt look out for yourself. its good to hear your not doing it anymore, but we all struggle at one point and we have to be the one to change it!

Lukavago said...

WOW... at the beggining there it sounded like you were talking about my family my mother did the same thing's and it made me really sad. But whatever does not kill us makes us strogner eh?

Lolth said...

Hm. I see. I had the same thing but I don't think it was something you should take back. Now you really know right from wrong and you know how and why you should never go there again because you've felt waht it's like. Nothing beats experience.

bevanz27 said...

i really enjoyed the use of the word cantankerous