My biggest regret

When people look at me, they always think of a nice, gentle person who couldn't get mad at anything. Well, until recently (summer 08) that wasn't true. The one thing i regret most in my life was attempted suicide. I know a lot of teens think about it, and i had thought about it a lot. Only problem is that apparantly, people don't start thinking about killing themselves in 2nd grade. That's when i started to think about it. I used to be just fine, living in LA, used to be a great place. Then, my parents found better jobs in Portland, but still needed to take care of stuff in LA, so, instead, dropped me off with my aunt and uncle, and sometimes, my grandparents. Only after a month of being there without my mom and dad did i for no reason whatsoever, discover death, and i always thought about it. My parents did come up eventually, but the thought never went away. After i came home, i'd "work on homework", and then only think about suicide the rest of the night. It was only a thought for about 8 years, until high school. Maybe it was hormones speaking to me, but i just couldn't take life anymore, and i did many different things (won't go into detail) to try and kill myself. Then, i finally got the news that i was moving out of Portland, away from some close friends, and to a new town called St. Helens. I was really not happy, and i continued every so often, without anyone noticing, because i apparantly really didn't know how to commit suicide. This frustrated me even more, making me feel like more than a failure that i already was. I never really gave off signs of this, no cuts, drugs, alcohol. I was just so "happy" and nice all the time. Then my junior year, my parents finally realized something was wrong, and took me into thearpy. They were not to happy realizing that i have been thinking about it and doing things for years. Though i didn't stay long in therapy, i started to realize, what am i thinking, i've got so many friends who would do anything for me, parents who do provide for me, and of course, music and women. I now understand that there are people out there with worse conditions, and that i shouldn't be complaining at all. I should help those that feel the way i did. Things are now good, and i have no more feelings of that, but it is still the biggest regret in my life to ever think or do such a thing.